The Newfoundland’s Book                            Of  21 Life & Law Facts

                  Written By 
           A . NEWFOUNDLAND

          
    
 



1)   You will give me a cool name - if it sounds dumb – IT’S YOUR FAULT

 2)   You will kiss me at least five times a day - I prefer DOUBLE THAT

 3)   You will cuddle me at least five times a day

 4)    You will adore me at least once a day - i prefer ALL DAY

 5)   You will feed me tasty treats at least twice a day MINIMUM –
                                                 I prefer five

 6)   You will have MY big muddy paws across your nice clean floor

 7)   You will have MY slobber hanging from your walls

 8)   You will have MY dog fur in all of your food

 9)   My tail is long & very strong. When I am happy it will waft round and round like a windmill leaving a trail of chaos and utter destruction. The bedlam I create is YOUR fault for not moving YOUR stuff out of MY way. 

 10)  You will wipe up RIVERS of water after I have had a gentle sip to drink

 11)  You will plug your ears so MY snoring does not drive YOU to distraction or total insanity !

 12)   When out walking, if I suddenly stop & you keep going, jerking your arm out of its socket....  well that is YOUR fault for not paying attention to MY needs ! 
 
13)   You will buy me new toys after I have destroyed indestructible ones in five short minutes

14)   If you leave clothes lying around, I am not at fault for pinching them – they should not be there - SHIFT THEM

15)   If it is left lying around – it is MINE

16)   Where I choose to lie you must walk around me as I am not at liberty to move once I am comfy

17)   If you choose to have a bubble bath do not blame me for wanting to join you - this is for MY entertainment !

18)   I will clog up and kill  your hoover with MY fantastic flying fur

19)  MY shadow is YOUR shadow as I do not like to be on my own. Remember too i AM half human - half Newfie and this should be considered at all times !

20)  Please remember that I have a trait that is not MY fault. Newfoundland deaf ear – I choose to listen but only when I hear the special word - TREAT ! Otherwise.........

21)   You will NOT complain when i slime your clothes with my yummy slobber even when you have just put clean going out clothes on. This is YOUR fault for not being prepared with a slob cloth.


     
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